


25 Years is Too Long to Say I'm Sorry

by Canarianyellow



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: A lot of talking, Angst, Canon Compliant, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Reunions, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Tension, a lot of avoiding talking, basically seeing your ex again after 20+ years and having no idea how to cope with that, bird man just wants to be left alone, but also your ex isn't your ex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 19:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canarianyellow/pseuds/Canarianyellow
Summary: When he went to town today, he wasn't expecting a blast from the past.He wasn't expecting to ever see Joseph Seed again.Maybe taking that job up in Hope County wasn't such a good idea.





	1. He Just Wanted Some Cereal

**Author's Note:**

> A short little thing to warm up with, just something to practice writing Judas for.

He just wanted more cereal. A quick get in, get out kind of situation so he could get back to his birds. That’s it. That’s all he wanted to do. Maybe grab a few things for the park rangers if he sees anything. It’s the least he can do after they let him tag a flock of Woodcocks. 

He entered the store, gave a small smile to the single store clerk, and immediately stopped dead in his tracks after only a few steps. There, right in front of him, is a face he never expected to see in a rural town in the middle of Montana. His eyes knew immediately who’s in front of him. When his mind catches up, he nearly panics.  _ Joseph Seed. _

They’ve made eye contact, and now he’s thinking that maybe the cereal wasn’t worth it. It’s too late, the other man has seen him and Judas can see the look of recognition on his face. He knows it’s him. If Judas can recognize Joseph Fucking Seed after over 20 years, then there’s no way he doesn’t know. 

He can see the man mouth his name, jaw slack with what Judas assumed was shock. They’re standing in the middle of the store, openly gawking at each other at this point. The store clerk looks mildly unsettled by it. Joseph takes a step forward, a small smile spreading across his face. Judas can’t handle it. 

In a moment of brilliance, he raises his hands, turns on his heel, and says “Fuck this”. He had no idea if the words were really said out loud. He’s already hurrying back out of the store and towards his car before he has time to wonder. He’s not dealing with this. Nope. No way in Hell. He can get cereal later, like when Joseph  _ Fucking _ Seed isn’t around. Or maybe he’ll just ask one of the rangers to get him some so he never has to step foot in town ever again. 

He climbed into his truck.  A hand caught the door before he could swing it close. “Judas.” Joseph said, voice slightly breathless as he stood in front of the other man. 

He gripped the steering wheel, doing his damndest to keep eye contact with him. His stomach churned with nerves. 

“Joseph.” He hated his voice for shaking. There’s an awkward pause, both waiting for the other to speak. 

“It’s been a long time, old friend.” Of course Joseph is the first to speak. He was never good with silence. 

“25 years.” He answered. Joseph smiled at him, and Judas felt his stomach flip with it. 

He watches his hand move away from the door to fall to his side. “It’s wonderful to see you.” He said softly, “I’d love to catch up with you, after all these years.” It’s simple enough on the outside. Old friends from schooldays, talking and catching up as if their friendship didn’t have an explosive ending. It left a bitter taste in his mouth as he stared at him and grabbed the handle of the door. Joseph took a step back. 

“I wouldn’t.” He replied, slamming the door in his face. He turned the key and the engine comes to life. He didn’t dare look at Joseph as he goes in reverse. He could practically feel the dejected frown on the man’s face. He drove away, straight back to his cabin and refused to look back. 

Not even nine am and he was already done with today.


	2. Fifteen With a Guitar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Judas Hernandez grew up next door to Joseph Seed- they were inseparable for years.   
> A friendship like theirs is hard to forget, and harder to discard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short little thing, just something from when they were kids.   
> Since we don't have a whole lot about Joseph Seed before fc5, and the timeline is screwed up as it is, I'm making the executive decision and doing whatever the hell I want.

Joseph played guitar. 

Not well, but he could hold a tune and make it sound believable. He couldn’t play any song from the radio, but he could do his best to copy them. He’d always miss a note, but neither knew what the notes were supposed to be in the first place. 

Judas could still remember when they found his first guitar- an old, wooden thing from a garage sale downtown. Joseph looked at it as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world, and Judas just knew he had to buy it. There was string missing, and it was helplessly out of tune, but it was the best damn guitar to a pair of 15-year-olds. 

They wrote their names on the back. Joseph and Judas: friends forever. They’d play the old thing on late nights out by the old creek, neither wanting to go home for the night. He’d strum a few notes, test a new tune, and Judas would make up words and melodies to go with. They’d laugh and smile and completely ignore the world in favour of poorly made music. The troubled look Joseph seemed to permanently have would disappear, if only for just a few hours. 

“Jude?” Joseph’s voice was always filled with something heavy, even back then. 

“Yeah?” 

“I like this.” He whispered, hands absently strumming against the strings. Judas looked at him, but Joseph’s eyes were staring at the sky. The sun was long gone, stars now shining brightly in the moonless sky. Not a single cloud was in sight. It was a clear, summer night in Georgia. 

There was a drawn out silence, the crickets singing and the creek trickling past. It was perfectly quiet. Judas found himself at a loss for words momentarily as he watched Joseph. He looked calm for once- almost at peace. His hands settled against the strings, short hair pulled back out of his face. 

Judas smiled at the sight, looking down at the guitar resting in Joseph’s hands then back to his face. “Yeah, I like this too.” He replied. 

He turned his attention to Judas then, blue eyes catching his own hazel ones. He smiled softly, shifting the guitar in his lap. There was a long paused before he cleared his throat, looking back down at his hands as they resumed an old tune. They’d both heard the song on the radio. 

That went on for an hour longer before they parted ways, waving from opposite sides of the street as they stood in front of their houses. They stood there for too long, neither wanting to go inside. Eventually, Joseph was the first to move. He turned and carefully opened his front door, disappearing behind it. 

That night, Judas thought, might have been the first time he realized he loved Joseph. It hit him out of nowhere, as if his eyes had suddenly been open to something so obvious and true. Joseph was his best friend, and he loved him. It was a natural fact Judas couldn’t brush over. 

Now, decades later, the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth and made his stomach churn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Judas Hernandez was actually Dr. Hernandez, Ph.D now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living out in the middle of a forest with just the local park rangers really knowing where you lived sounded great in theory- but, when they start just giving out where you live to anyone who wants to know, you start to wonder if it was such a good idea.   
> You're stuck with it now, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes hi I'm still writing this, I swear. It's just slow going. I'll do more for it eventually... probably. Hopefully.

The late afternoon sun was bearing down through the thick trees as he trudged back home with a camera around his neck, an old bag over his shoulder, and a notebook in hand. He was dead on his feet and ready to just crawl into bed and sleep- maybe eat too. That’d probably be a good idea.

From four am to now had gone by fast and left him absolutely exhausted. It was worth it, though, in his mind. A full day of just tracking and documenting with just him and no one else. Nothing to think about but birds out there. It was nice, but now he was ready to do anything else. 

When the old cabin came into view, though, he let out a groan at the sight of the man waiting there on the porch. It’d been a few days- Judas was really hoping it had just been a one-off thing and he’d never have to see Joseph Seed again. 

He should’ve known he wasn’t lucky enough for that. 

The man stood quickly upon seeing Judas, hands fidgeting at his sides as he stared at the other. Judas took a deep breath and stepped onto the porch, “What are you doing here, Joseph?”

He smiled, “The rangers told me where to find you.” He said. It wasn’t really an answer, but Judas hadn’t expected one- not really. That was one thing Joseph was still good at, at least. He always found a way to avoid a direct answer. 

“Of course they did.” He sighed and trudged past, ignoring the way Joseph’s hand jerked out as if to catch his own. He pulled the door open and walked inside, not bothering to close it after him. Might as well get this over with now, rather than let it fester. He heard the footsteps behind him and knew he’d followed him inside. 

He busied himself putting things away, pointedly ignoring him as he went about throwing his things over his desk and chair before moving to the small kitchen just off to the right of the living room. The silence was deafening, and for once Joseph didn’t seek to fill it. It put Judas on edge more than anything else. 

He heard the flowboards groan under his feet. He took a deep breath and set to making a sandwich. In the corner of his eye, he saw Joseph lift the picture frame from the small desk. “You study wildlife now.” It wasn’t a question, so Judas stayed silent. “You always did love birds.” He mused, staring down at the photo. He was smiling at the camera, a Red Hawk on his arm. 

“I’m an ornithologist.” He stated, not taking his eyes off the wooden counters. 

“Do you like it?” 

“Its my dream job. Couldn’t ask for better.” 

Joseph smiled, “I’m glad you’ve found a purpose for yourself.” He chose his words carefully, setting the frame back down. “It is peaceful here.” 

“Yeah, that’s kinda why I moved here. Less risk of running into familiar faces halfway across the country.” He paused, turning to side glance Joseph. “Guess I just have shitty luck.” 

“Fate has brought you here.” He said, stepping into the kitchen. “Fate brought us both here, old friend.” 

“No.” He turned, pointing a finger at Joseph. “No, birds brought me here. Not fate.” He huffed out a sigh, running one hand through short curls. “And I sure as hell don’t know what you’re doing here, but I doubt it because of fate.”

“But fate  _ did _ bring me here.” He stepped forward, hands out and palms up, “It was the will of  _ God-”  _

“Then God’s will is pretty shitty.” He cut in, glaring at his old friend. 

Joseph’s mouth opened to respond, then quickly closed. He paused, staring at his old friend before looking at the floor. There was a short pause before he let out a small huff of laughter, slowly shaking his head. “You haven’t changed, Judas.” 

Judas quirked an eyebrow, arms crossing as he looked at the man before him. “What, I’m still always right?” It came off more playful than he was feeling and he cursed himself for that. 

He chuckled, smiling at his former friend. “You were always the sharper one.” He said, “I don’t think anyone could keep up with your wit.” 

He snorted, “You sure as hell tried to.” He replied, almost immediately regretting it when Joseph looked at him. He knew the kind of person Joseph was- give him and inch, and he’ll go a mile. Give him anything to cling to and he will.

He smiled sadly, eyes wide behind those dumb yellow glasses. They simply stared at each other for a moment, as if daring the other to say anything else. Joseph looked away first, his gaze fixing on his hands in front of him. “Judas-” 

He lifted his hand, cutting him off before anything else could be said. Joseph’s eyes snapped up to watch his hand. He feels suddenly exhausted, as if a weight had settled on his shoulders again. He stared at Joseph with weariness, shoulders now laxed as he let out a slow breath. “Just stop, Joseph..” He said quietly- it sounded deafening in the silent cabin. The man stares at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. “Just leave me alone… please.” His voice nearly cracked and he hated it. 

He turned to face the counter, back to Joseph. He could feel his hand shaking as he held onto the wooden counter. There’s a long moment of silence. Neither moves and neither makes a sound. Then, without a word, Joseph turns and walks out of the cabin. As soon as the door creaks closed, Judas lets out the breath he’d been holding. He runs a hand through dark curls and shakes his head, returning to making a sandwich. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In his senior year, Judas Hernandez received a full-ride scholarship to the University of Vermont.   
> It was the opportunity of a lifetime- a chance to get out of Georgia for good.

**Author's Note:**

> Judas Hernandez grew up next door to Joseph Seed- they were inseparable up until the end of senior year.  
> A fight like theirs is hard to forget, and easy to cling to.


End file.
